The family, in Bahá’í principle, is viewed as the nucleus of human society essentially forms its values. `Abdu’l-Bahá stated that one can “compare the nations of the world to the members of a family. A family is a nation in miniature. Simply enlarge the circle of the household and you have the nation. Enlarge the circle of nations and you have all humanity. The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation. The happenings in the family are the happenings in the life of the nation. Would it add to the progress and advancement of a family if dissensions should arise among its members, fighting, pillaging each other, jealous and revengeful of injury, seeking selfish advantage? Nay, this would be the cause of the effacement of progress and advancement. So it is in the great family of nations, for nations are but an aggregate of families.” – Promulgation of Universal Peace
He has asserted in this quote that: “According to the teachings of Bahá’u’lláh, the family, being a human unit, must be educated according to the rules of sanctity. All the virtues must be taught to the family.” – A Compilation on Bahá’í Education
`Abdu’l-Bahá describes the family home environment as “. . . a centre for the diffusion of the light of divine guidance, for the dissemination of the Words of God and for enkindling at all times the fire of love in the hearts of His faithful servants and maidservants. Know thou of a certainty that every house wherein the anthem of praise is raised to the Realm of Glory in celebration of the Name of God is indeed a heavenly home, and one of the gardens of delight in the Paradise of God”. – Compilation on Family Life, Vol. 1, pp 385-416
Further, Bahá’u’lláh exhorts families in saying that “It is the bounden duty of parents to rear their children to be staunch in faith, the reason being that a child who removeth himself from the religion of God will not act in such a way as to win the good pleasure of his parents and his Lord. For every praiseworthy deed is born out of the light of religion, and lacking this supreme bestowal the child will not turn away from any evil, nor will he draw nigh unto any good.” – A Compilation on Bahá’í Education.
Although Bahá’í parents are advised to rear their children to be staunch in faith, this is not an indication that children are ‘born into’ the Bahá’í Faith. It is a fundamental and unique requirement that any child with a Bahá’í parent who reaches the age of 15 must by herself or himself decide if she or he wishes to continue to be accounted as a member of the Bahá’í community. This is known as ‘reaffirmation’. Akin to this unique requirement, a child who does not have a Bahá’í parent may not be enrolled in the Bahá’í community until the child reaches the age of 15.However, children, with their non-Bahá’í parent’s permission and encouragement may attend any of the classes or other open activities provided by the Bahá’í community.
Bahá’u’lláh also emphasized that “The fruits of the tree of existence are trustworthiness, loyalty, truthfulness and purity. After the recognition of the oneness of the Lord, exalted be He, the most important of all duties is to have due regard for the rights of one’s parents. This matter hath been mentioned in all the Books of God….” – Compilation on Family Life, Vol. 1, p 385
A just social order must start from peaceful and just relations within the family. Accordingly, the establishment and maintenance of family unity is considered very important and the rights of all family members must be respected. `Abdu’l-Bahá described that “If love and agreement are manifest in a single family that family will advance, become illumined and spiritual; but if enmity and hatred exist within it, destruction and dispersion are inevitable.” – Foundation of World Unity.
The Bahá’í Faith teaches that keys to strengthening of family are unity, loving relationships between husband and wife, and loving consultation. The Universal House of Justice in is December 1980 letter wrote:”The relationship between husband and wife must be viewed in the context of the Bahá’í ideal of family life. Bahá’u’lláh came to bring unity to the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family. Therefore, one must believe that the Faith is intended to strengthen the family, not weaken it, and one of the keys to the strengthening of unity is loving consultation. The atmosphere within a Bahá’í family as within the community as a whole should express ‘the keynote of the Cause of God’ which, the beloved Guardian has stated, ‘is not dictatorial authority but humble fellowship, not arbitrary power, but the spirit of frank and loving consultation.
Considering the rights of men, women, and children in the family, the Bahá’i Writings has elucidated that “the integrity of the family bond must be constantly considered and the rights of the individual members must not be transgressed. The rights of the son, the father, the mother, none of these must be transgressed, none of them must be arbitrary.” – `Abdu’l-Bahá, Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 168
It is noteworthy that while men and women are equal, their roles may not be identical. For example, mothers are considered to have a special role as the first educators of their children. The husband’s primary responsibility is to “provide for and protect the family.”
In a Bahá’í family, where there are two or more children, and if any of the children are girls, the parents need to ensure their daughters receive priority for receiving education before their sons. “…when it is not possible to educate all one’s children, daughters receive preference over sons, as mothers are the first educators of the next generation.”- a letter to an individual on 24 May 1975, The Universal House of Justice.
Further, Bahá’i Writings exhorts “The school for girls taketh precedence over the school for boys, for it is incumbent upon the girls of this glorious era to be fully versed in the various branches of knowledge, in sciences and the arts and all the wonders of this pre-eminent time, that they may then educate their children and train them from their earliest days in the ways of perfection.” – A Compilation on Bahá’í Education.
According to Bahá’u’lláh’s Book of Laws, marriage is “highly recommended but not obligatory” and is regarded as “a fortress for well-being and salvation“. The couple must both freely agree they wish to marry, and then obtain the consent of all living parents in order to preserve the unity of the family. The only requirement for the Bahá’í ceremony is the recitation, by both the bride and groom, of the verse “We will all, verily, abide by the Will of God”, which constitutes the Bahá’í marriage vow. `Abdu’l-Bahá described “true marriage” as both a physical and spiritual union, “that they [the couple] may ever improve the spiritual life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting unity throughout all the worlds of God.” – Selections From the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
The practice of chastity outside marriage and monogamy within marriage is obligatory for Bahá’ís. Based on Bahá’i Laws, by chastity is meant that “no sexual act can be considered lawful unless performed between lawfully married persons” – In letters written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi.
Resources on Bahá’i family life
Compilation of Compilations, Vol. I, Family Life, pp. 385-416
The Promulgation of Universal Peace
Family Life and Children
The Family – A Baha’i Perspective
Family Life
Requisites for Family Unity: The Role of the Father in the Family
Family relationships
Bahá’u’lláh, Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 149
Marriage in the Bahá’i Faith
Bahá’í marriage is the commitment of the two
A Chaste and Holy Life – The Bahá’í Faith
A selection of extracts from the Bahá’i Writings on family life and marriage